I'm a big fan of comedy. I mean a HUGE FAN. So much so that if a comedian ran for president, I may actually vote for him. *causes mass raising of eyebrows and scary glares* Fine. I take back what I said. Afterall, Tito Sotto was a comedian and I'd slash my wrist and die a horrible death first before I write his name on the ballot.
But yes, I like digressing, don't I? The main point of this entry is just my delight when I learned about a group of improv actors who do their own videos- the Derrick Comedy sketch group. Be pwned.
If that wasn't awesome, I dunno what is. And if there are people who will find it offensive then clearly, they enjoy watching Family Feud and collecting G.I. Joe action figures. Here's more...
I really like their kind of humor. Very intelligent and certainly not trying hard. Sometimes, I wonder when we'd ever have smart comedy on local TV. Well, seems like Jojo A all the way is doing his part.
10 Things You Can Do To Celebrate The Heart's Day When You're Single AND Bitter
It's a conspiracy, this whole Valentine's day crap. The flower shop and chocolate store owners had a convention one day and decided to make the 14th of February a momentous event for lovers so people will purchase their goods. Yup. I'm pretty sure of that. Okay, I guess by now it's apparent that I'm not a big fan of the... what the hell is it anyway? A feast? A national holiday? A celebration of the birth of an overweight fairy?
Yes, I am bitter. In fact, I'm so bitter that I've been wearing my "I THINK, THEREFORE I'M SINGLE" Beerkada button pin for the whole week. I'm perhaps so bitter, I can dip my finger in a cup of hot water and it would turn into an espresso.
I DON'T HAVE A DATE OR A SOMEONE TO CUDDLE WITH. There, I said it. And it made me think of things we, single and bitter people can do to survive the v-day (by V, I don't mean vagina).
10. Blog-surf and waste your time in the internet, like you normally do. 9. Watch Wowowee live and dip it with Luningning on national TV. Seriously. Girls or guys (depending on your preference) will be lining up for you afterwards. 8. Invite friends over for dinner and serve grilled innards, pig's eye jelly and other food you have only seen on X-factor. It's all about rebellion, baby! 7. Unleash the emo artist in you and have a poetry-reading, complete with eye-liner, side bangs and lip rings, with your dogs as the audience. 6. Attend a costume party and if there is none, have one. Then dress up as Sponge Bob. 5. Watch Sponge Bob and masturbate over Patrick. 4. Have a movie marathon but stay away from romantic flicks. My picks would be SAW, TWISTER, PASSION OF CHRIST, PINK FLAMINGOS and JUMANJI. 3. Snorkel in pristine waters and try not to get struck in the chest by a sting ray. 2. Rub two stones together and make fire with them. For what purpose? Beats me. 1. And last but not the least- Escape from it all and have a joy-ride to... the moon. TRANSLATION: Sleep the day away.
As I write this entry down, hordes of people are gathering at SM Mall of Asia for the annual Lovapalooza event. >__> Losers.
I had an interesting conversation with my co-worker a week ago. He was telling me about how broke he was and wondering where the hell he'd get money from. Suddenly, a group of Koreans walked past us in a truly carefree manner, looking at the stars and laughing as if they were on the happy pill.
This made my co-worker comment
"Kung puwede lang siguro magbenta ng mga Koreano, siguro ang yaman ko na! Takte, ang dami kasi nila dito eh. (If only I could sell Koreans, I bet I'd be filthy rich by now. heck, look at them, they're everywhere.)"
Although that was meant to be a joke and not even remotely intended to be a racist remark (yes, I'm defensive), he made a valid point- that human trafficking is big business and more importantly, that Koreans are taking over our country.
I don't even know how it all started. There was a time when the only chinks we saw around were the Chinoys or the occasional children of the Japayuki women. But now, the Kimchi people have pretty much painted the town yellow. Did it happen around the same time as the Korean wave or should I blame Sandara Park?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I think it's good for our tourism and economy and whatnot. I just genuinely wonder what the hell they are doing here. No, serious. Whilst 9.5 out of 10 Filipinos I talk to want to escape the poverty and the hopelessness of my beloved country, they arrive in hordes with pale skin and dyed, permed hairdo's.
Plus, is it just me or do they not intend to adapt to our culture? I understand that a lot of them are here to study English but learning our language won't be bad, don't you think? AND WE DON'T BITE! It's okay to separate from your group and mingle with the natives.
Could this be just a phenomenon or will the Koreans stay here for good? If so, I pray to the heavens that Lee Jun-Ki decides to migrate here and do gay porn for me, which I can sell for 69836216409603 pesos a copy. Now that's what I mean by business.
To kiss or not to kiss, that is the retarded question.
Okay, if you're reading my blog then you oughtta know one important thing- I've never been been kissed (nor have I been out on a date, had a boyfriend, banged Paris and acquired gonorrhea in the process) before. I mean, EVER. And I'm no 13 year old whining brat either. I've graduated from college and am working already. Win.
But save your pity for the Spice Cirls' career someone else. I'm single by choice <- the validity of this statement is still questioned but I can't help but wonder how kissing passionately feels. You know, with burning love, a little bit of lust and a whole lotta saliva.
They say one can practice with her hand. Or is it fist? But the thought makes my eyes tweak because I use my hand for other things such as putting make-up on and I dunno, WIPING MY ASS? Plus, my hand has no feelings for me whatsoever.
Sometimes I'm compelled to ask my friend if I can practice with him, too, just to see who will win in our tongue-fencing because I'm competitive like that. Or should do a Jim and practice kissing an american pie. Wait, but that's like kissing a pussy, right?
So, will you please explain to me how it feels to kiss? And do raise your hand if you believe I should get laid.
Great. I opened yet another blog. I wonder when this blog-hopping would end. *tears hair* However, I'd try to make this one different. This will solely be reserved for my twisted and oftentimes LBM-inducing thoughts about growing up and trying to make your dreams come true.
Look, I even changed my name. For a time now, I've been using the same blog name for different domains. shutthefuckup.blogspot.com, shutthefuckup.livejournal.com, shutthefuckup.blogdrive.com... Not that I really used that, it was just an example.
But now, why Sappy and Gay? Why not? Me and my writing can be described as, well, sappy AND gay. And why on .tk? Hello, doesnt it rhyme with gay? Try saying the url many times over and you'd realize that it's fun. *metally chants sappyandgay.tk*
Ugh! I used to like introductions but not so much anymore. Plus, I'm still having second thoughts about revealing my true identity. >_> Maybe next time. Oh well.
See you around, bitchazz!
ps: I will occassionally post in my native tongue, Filipino and talk A LOT about my country.
